I’ve been dancing most the week, so for now I’m going to prop my feet up and tell you about it.
This round of dancing started in January, back when I felt God challenging me to venture back into the realm of being self-employed. Fear was the first emotion, for I have two precious ones depending on me, but as I checked off the list of conditions that needed to be in place prior to quitting the 9-5 (read: God’s provision and not my doing), excitement took over.
So what does that have to do with dancing?
Everything, my friend. It was a dance of trust, first of discerning and believing that the small promptings I was hearing were of God, then of relinquishing my desire for stability to venture into a land filled with unknowns.
And that list of conditions? All were checked except for one when I gave notice. After making the original list, I scribbled across the top of the page:
“this feels impossible, but God, I trust you. If this is what you want, then please make it happen.”
And then, as an afterthought, or perhaps as the groans from the depths poured to the page, I wrote,
“But what about writing and speaking?”
Are you hearing the tunes of music at this point, the soft whisperings leading me beyond the realm of lists and sticky notes (oh, how I love my post-its!) and onto the dance floor of trust?
The first challenge laid before me was yes, as in the prompting to say yes to the opportunities God placed in front of me. I spoke to my “business manager” one night (who really is a dear friend with so much business sense that she inadvertently got suckered into this role) and told her about my new yes mentality.
Did I mention that she’s a dear? That’s probably why she bit her tongue and didn’t roar with the knowledge that last year was more of a no year for me.
You see, when I stepped onto this dance floor of trust, it wasn’t just about finances and stability. It was the question that penetrates deep.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes. No. I mean, um, well. I believe. Help my unbelief.”
And so, when Cher asked Monday morning if I’d fill in as a cohost on Crosswalk, a radio show on 94.7FM, I gulped. Radio doesn’t scare me anymore, but you know what does? Going on with a host I haven’t worked with before, of not knowing what kinds of questions they might throw at me or what their style is. Even though I’ve known Eric Reamer for years, the cohost of Crosswalk, this was still a new forum to me, as in I didn’t even know what the topic was about that day. If you ask me, the topic should be at the top of the checklist.
Checklist or not, I agreed to this yes challenge (within reason, mind you, and it always has to pass one crucial component). I prayed. No, there weren’t angels singing or great signs saying to do it. Just crickets, as in “I’m not stopping you, girl, so go.”
So I did.
And I danced.
Let me clarify that, for it’ll sound incredible prideful if I don’t. My parents were at my house helping me renovate my bathroom. My dad asked if I was excited.
“Honestly, it could totally flop. Actually, it probably will. I have no idea.”
Please don’t hear this as pride, but listen past that to my heart: I didn’t fail. In fact, it felt like–you guessed it–dancing, a beautiful waltz in which I was led and simply responded. That’s the feeling I get on those rare occasions when I know without a doubt I’m in exactly the place I’m supposed to be at that moment, doing the very thing God asked me to do.
So here’s our challenge: let’s say yes to the next opportunity God puts in front of us. It might take us well beyond our comfort zones, but in the end it just might become a beautiful waltz.
P.S. Sorry for those of you that are receiving this twice. I sent this as an email to those of you who are signed up to receive posts on my blog and then later decided to post it here.
In case you’re interested in seeing the dance, you can go to 94.7FMTheWord facebook and look for it under the video tab.